Life

Life is so precious. I have said it before and I am continually amazed at how simple it is for our lifeforce to be gone in an instant. One day we are living, breathing, magical units. The next day, gone.

Why, why, why would someone become so incredibly desperate to take their own life? What else is there if you don't have your life? We can't know what comes after we breathe our last breath, until that time arrives.

It is so sad to hear that a person has become so distraught in their everyday life, that they feel the best solution is to just leave the earth. Leave all of their family and friends behind wondering, why. What could we have done to prevent this?

Yesterday as I stood on line with Adina to get an autograph from Anthony Rapp, star of both the stage and screen versions of "Rent," my cell phone buzzed and I heard the distressing news that my friend's brother had taken his life.

What a strange dycotomy that was. The story of "Rent" is wrapped around the fabric of the lives of young, vital adults just starting out in life but plagued with the burdens of no jobs, terminal illnesses, heartbreak and death. Yet, they found each other and they found love. And here I get a phone call that could have been a scene in the show.

Well, I took a deep breath, looked at my beautiful, innocent 12-year-old and thanked the lord that we have been blessed in our lives with love and happiness and the ability to deal with whatever life throws us. Then I spoke as calmly as I could to my friend and encouraged him to be strong, focused and as calm as possible to make logical decisions for now and deal with the emotions later.

Difficult, yes, but life will go one. It is a hard road, but depending on the consitution of my friend will be how he deals with this sad news.

Tennis Anyone?

Seems like a simple enough thing to do. Swing a racket toward a ball and get it over the net. Sounds like a plan. Well, then you have to factor in the other person who has the responsibility of hitting back over the net so that you can once again hit it. Oh, and don't forget to add in the the 91 degree temperature and the 80 percent humidity.

Well, Rachel has decided that she wants to join the tennis team in the spring. So I happily volunteered to go out there with my daughter and try to volley the ball back and forth. Ha! I can get the ball over to Rachel easily enough, but Rachel hits the ball back like she is playing baseball! If it isn't flying over the fence, across the street to the next block, then I am running over to the other courts to retrieve the ball!

Hey, it's all fun but I am burning up more calories in the act of retrieving the ball, than actually doing anything related to tennis.

I am hoping that with more practice, Rachel will actually move her butt a bit more and run toward the ball and then hit it with a bit more aim. I am finding that my endurance is not what it was, but hey, at least I am out there trying! And it is good quality time with my daughter.

So, if the end result is NOT the tennis team for Rachel, at least we are having a good time trying.

New Family Member

So, what started out as a peaceful, sunny, hot day at the pool, turned into a new chapter in the Leshinsky household.

Adina and I trudged over to the pool with our towels and noodles and we were floating in the pool. It was all very relaxing. The last few days of summer vacation for the girls, I had taken off a few days from work so we could all be together.

Then we heard it. At first, we thought it was a bird. Then it sounded like a kitten. Then it sounded like a bird. Well, it was driving Adina crazy. Just as Rachel arrived at the pool, the two girls decided to search around the perimeter of the pool to find out what was making this noise. Then I heard it, "Mommy, come here quick." In that moment, I knew that my life had just turned a corner.

When I got over there, in Adina's hands was the smallest ball of fur that I have ever seen. The fur was grey. The face has white markings with the pinkest of pink nose and mouth. This squirming body was crying for help and we felt so badly for it. The neighbors were sitting on their porch and said that they had heard it too but also thought that it was a bird.

Then they asked . . . "Mommy, can we keep it?"

They really didn't have to ask. My mind was already made up! I had to protect and nurture this little baby kitten. So we gathered our belongings from the pool and headed straight home. I called our vet and they said all the doctors were in surgery, but that I should get a baby bottle at a pet store and a can of formula until I can see the doctors. Oh, and they said that since the kitten is so young, that we would also have to help it to go to the bathroom! What? I didn't sign on for that! They said to use a baby wipe or a cotton ball and gently wipe it's genitils. Ok, fine.

So we got dressed as fast as we could and ran over to the pet store and bought the items we needed and went home equally as fast.

This little baby ate so much and yes, we were able to get it to go to the bathroom. We were very proud of ourselves.

Now, how were we going to convince Joel that we wanted to keep him?? We plotted all afternoon. We knew that the kitten would need to be fed often, we just didn't know how often. That information would come the next day from the vet.

So when Joel came home, we showed him this adorable, sleepy bundle of fur. I knew he was sold from the moment he set eyes on him, but he acts tough to make the girls think of the consequences. He always finds a lesson to be learned. So he put all of the responsibility on the girls to figure out the care and feeding schedule.

Well, after we visited the vet the next day, we felt a lot better about keeping this kitten. He is very healthy, but he is only two weeks old. He only weighs 7 oz. and needs to eat four times a day, about 3 - 4 tablespoons of formula.

Well, so far, even with school that started yesterday, we have managed to keep up with the feeding schedule. Joel came home at 3 p.m. to feed him and he was fine. When I came home at 5:15 p.m. Joel and the kitten were cuddled on the couch in the den. It was a touching sight.

Grace, well, Grace is still not sure about this kitten. At first she growled all the time. Now she is curious and sniffs at the kitten and only growls a little. The vet said that it would take a few weeks for Grace to adjust to a new animal in the house.

Now the issue is . . . what to name him?? I wanted Woodstock. Joel and Rachel picked Hendrix. But we are still debating. And at this point, the kitten doesn't know the difference. We started a list last night and we will continue tonight!

And So It Goes . . .

The lazy days of summer are coming to an end. I always found the end of the summer very sad. The summers for me were a time of freedom, of discovery, of days on the beach slathered with baby oil, of riding my bike to friends' houses, of sleeping late, of lying on the grass in the backyard looking up at the maple trees swaying in the summer breezes, of reading book after book of my choice. Then came the end of the summer.

There was always a feeling that I had to rush to get ready for school. There was shopping for clothing as I was constantly outgrowing my things. I always had to clean out my closet and drawers to make room for the new stuff. While I was doing that, I ended up cleaning up my entire room including the dust in the corners of the windowsills and way underneath the beds.

Well, fast forward a few decades and nothing much has changed. The only difference is that now I am the mom and my children are the ones flopping around the house in PJs until 4 p.m. in the afternoon, watching TV or playing guitar or reading whatever they want. They did the room cleaning. We did the clothes shopping. They are ready for school. And they have that wistful sadness that comes with the ending of a great summer.

And so it goes . . . another summer drawing to an end. But we have the school year to look forward to. New classes, new friends, new adventures. A bit of balance to the sadness, there is the new beginning to look forward to.

Fish

Fish are strange creatures. Larger fish eat smaller fish. People eat fish. Sometimes fish take a bite out of people But humans, in general, are intriqued with the underwater beasts.

Some adventurous folk get very up close and personal with fish. They slap on a mask and and breathing tube and funny looking webbed shoes and snorkel about observing them in their own habitat. For the type A personalities, they are much braver and get special certifications to wear very odd looking skins and tanks and tubes and dive to great depths to get a closer encounter with coral, sharks and other sea animals.

Then there are the people in my immediate family. They rather enjoy purchasing a small tank, filling it with bright pink gravel, artificial plants, a rubber duckie and just a few tiny fish. It is absolutely a "girly" fish tank. The pink gravel makes quite a statement!

The entire purpose of this fish tank was for Adina's 12th birthday. I never wanted fish. It is just another "thing" that needs maintenance however, I agreed that if Adina was 100 percent responsible, she could have it. In addition, we didn't buy the fish. We insisted that Adina use her money to buy the fish so that she understands that there is value and responsibility attached to the care of her new pets.

Once the tank was set up (and you would have thought it was a national holiday the way we made such a fuss over the preparation which, of course, I recorded with my camera!) and placed into Adina's newly cleaned room (a full-day job that Joel and Adina attacked this past Sunday), I had to admit, it was pretty. Not only was it pleasing to look at, but it has a calming effect.

However, Grace (our cat), is not so calm. She sits on Adina's desk and stares intensly at the tank. I wonder how she will do when we are all out of the house during work hours? Oh well. Only time will tell. Joel thinks that Grace thinks it is the TV. But then again, that is another story!

Of course Adina made us name the fish! So we have Optimus Prime (one of the transformers' names from the movie), Bruce the shark (from Finding Nemo), Prince (the Kissing Gourami), Mac and Cheese, and Hoover the sucker fish!! We had fun with the naming game!

So here is to a new era in the Leshinsky household! Fish . . . up close and personal!

Dreams

People, on the average, dream four to six times during their sleeping hours. But we can also dream while we are awake. Perhaps when we are sitting in class and our attention drifts away from the speaker and our thoughts turn into an actual dream. We also have dreams of what we might want to be when we grow up or what we would like to be instead of the choices in life we have made.

But all in all, dreams are very real to us. Studies have shown that we are usually the main character in the dream and when we are telling someone about our dreams, we are actually recalling a memory.

Lately, I have been dreaming extremely vivid dreams. They aren't bad dreams, or for that matter, that aren't outlandishly wonderful either. Instead, when I wake up in the morning, I remember the dream and if Joel is awake, I usually try to tell him what I was dreaming. It helps me to remember the dream later in the day.

I noticed that this started to occur after I had the telephone encounter with the medium. I don't know if the two events are connected or not, just a basic observation.

In order to dream, we need to enter REM sleep. My only guess is that I am sleeping more soundly at night, therefore entering that REM phase and allowing me to dream.

I do wake up feeling very rested. It is a very good feeling. I didn't really realize how tired I was until I started to get to this more restful sleep.

Maybe I have resolved some of my frutstrations. True, we haven't solved our current problems at home, but we are actively working on it. We have the restaurant up for sale. Joel is applying for jobs on a weekly basis and I am helping him with the application process too. He has irons in many fires and he has decided that nothing is more important than his family. That could be part of the reasons that I am feeling more relaxed, less stressed and less tense.

I have been taking more yoga classes, at least two and sometimes three times a week. I feel physically stronger, challenged in class and then look forward to the mediation and relaxation at the end of the class. My state of mind is much more clear. I can concentrate more at work where about month ago I was an emotional wreck.

I am going through a battery of tests at the internist, the OB-GYN and an Endocrinologist. They have taking vile after vile of blood to see if it is menopause (it isn't). They did see something related to my thyroid (completely fixable with medication . . . if that is the issue). And tomorrow I go for an ultrasound of my thyroid. So answers will come. But each doctor has stated that these are symptoms of stress.

So, I guess I have learned how to control the stress by actively doing something about it and then the end results . . . better sleep . . . more rest . . . more dreams.

I like the dreams. It adds a dimension to life because everynight is like a new episode and a nice surprise to wake up to. So dream on!

Hands

Hands. So important to us. You can give someone a hand to offer help. You can hold your loved one's hand to offer comfort. You can lay a hand on someone to heal. Hands have so many nerve endings that our hands are extremely sensitive.

But have you ever taken a good long look at your hands? The palm has a roadmap of lines and grooves that some palm readers can look at and claim to tell us more about ourselves, our pasts and our futures. Our fingerprints are unique to each of us and defines who we are in databases and in some cases to allow us access to our bank accounts, cars and houses.

I like to look at the back of my hand. I can see the aging process there. The skin, not as smooth as it once was as a child, is now creased with character. But yet, there is something a bit familiar in the shape of my hand, in the shape and length of my fingers and nails. I see my mother's hands.

I see the comforting calm of my mother's hands as they used to reach out and touch me when I was sad or hurt. I see the day that I held her hand as she slowly left me for the last time. I held that hand as long as I could, I memorized the shape, the smell and the feel of her fingers and skin. I wanted that moment to be with me forever. Yes, it was painfully sad, but now when I gaze down at my own hands, I feel as though a part of her will be with me forever.

Hands clasp, hands reach, hands feel, hands applaud, hands raise, hands comfort, hands connect.

The Other Side of the Veil

How often do you get the opportunity to say something to your father, especially when you have never met him?

Well, last night I had that opportunity. I have always believed that there are people in this world who can see through to the other side and speak to those who have crossed over. I have just never had the chance, first hand, to do that myself. I had never met a medium, nor have I ever gone out of my way to seek one out.

I do believe that there is a reason for everything. I do believe that my father wanted to speak to me so strongly, that the connections came together and the time was right.

Several weeks ago Joel met Mark Brogan. He is an attorney who writes a column for the Sun-Sentinel on condo law. Mark is friends with a man, Robert Hansen (http://www.robertehansen.com/) who is a medium. This man is not a medium as a living. He is a special education teacher who works with autistic, deaf and blind children. Something happened to him almost 20 years ago which opened up this window to the other side and he is able to talk to people on the other side. He shares this with people and last night I called him and he shared with me.

Was I amazed? Yes, but I completely believe and I expected to connect. I have been told but another person who has psychic abilities that I have psychic abilities and if I opened up more that I could connect if I wanted to. So in the 60 minutes that I spent on the phone with Robert, I really felt connected to the other side. I wasn't scared, although my heart was beating very quickly in my chest. At times I felt light-headed and as though I could amost pass out, even though I was sitting very comfortably on my bed. I had a tape recorder next to me and the phone on speaker. I wanted to be able to go back and listen at my own pace. I also took notes of things that I didn't know or couldn't connect to a relative.

The most important thing that I learned last night is that my birth father, Harold Lawrence Schain, was the one person who reached out to speak to me. He told Mark that he had visited the child that had the stars on her ceiling and could smell the scent of the candles in her room. That was Rachel, she had a bunch of candles burning in her room and she has plastic stars pasted to the ceiling, Joel and I placed them there when she was a toddler because they glow in the dark and they form a trail toward the door so she could find her way to the bathroom in the dark.

He also told Mark to tell me that my mother didn't have a chance to say good bye to him because his passing was very sudden. Robert didn't know how my father died, but he said that he heard extremely loud noises and machinery. I asked him if I should tell him how my father died. I asked him that because at the beginning of the session he said to not say much except that I do or do not understand what he was telling me. At that point he said yes to say it outloud. When I said that it was a plane crash, he said, now it makes sense. He said that it was a mistake. The aircraft was a private one, a small one, like a Piper Cub and my father switched with the pilot. When I said that we never knew who was flying, he said that my father was insisting that I know that he was flying the plane.

Then my father wanted me to know that he understands my attitude toward my step-father. He is upset that I had to fight for what belongs to me. He said that he was allergic to penicillin and that I would understand that it really was him when Robert said that to me. That was true, my mother told me that and I am also very allergic to it. As a baby I broke out in a terrible rash from head to toe when my mother gave me penicillin. He also said that my mother was kidnapped emotionally and couldn't give me everything that she wanted to give me.

Robert said that I planted something in my backyard in my father's honor. He also said that I did something in my father's honor on my wedding day. I can't remember what either of those things are, but I will just let that information sit and sink in; and perhaps it will come back to me.

There was also something about a baseball mitt and a huge pantry with a lot of canned goods and he kept mentioning baked beans.

These things were pouring out of him. Perhaps my parents wanted to reaffirm that it was really them. My mother always felt the need to keep her pantry well stocked, "just in case." There was always a five month supply of paper towels and toilet paper and canned items and whatever else had a long shelf life. I always attributed that to my her memories of living through the depression in the 1930s. She never wanted to run short of anything. When she took me shopping and we found an item that we liked, she always bought at least two of them!

There was a lot in the middle that I have to listen to again. But at the end of the session, my mother came forward and said that she would be here with me if she could have stayed in her body. She said that she just couldn't do it anymore. It was too painful. She knows that I was with her as she crossed over and that I told it was okay to go. And that my father was her true love and she is with him now.

Robert told me that I have a watch of my fathers. He said that I should hold it and wear it and say good night to him every night because he is listening to me, always.

There was so much more that Robert was telling me and I really have to go back and listen more.

This was the most satisfying experience that I have ever had. I always believed, and now I believe even more.

Change

There is always resistance to change. Change brings uncertainty. But sometimes change brings excitement.

I feel that there is change in the air. Or, is it that I am hopeful for a change? It doesn't matter which is the truth. However, I feel the change coming.

The routine of our daily lives has been tweaked a bit today. Adina is off on a school field trip. She had to be at school at 5:30 a.m. because the buses leave for Orlando at 6 a.m. So Joel and Adina were up at 4:30 a.m. I can usually sleep through anything, but this morning I was up. Adina was so excited, I know that it was hard for her to be quiet. She must have run up and down the stairs 20 times before she was ready to leave. That didn't really bother me, but of course, once they left, I was up for good. I tried to sleep, but couldn't.

So, here I am, sitting in bed, reading emails and writing in this journal. A bit of a change for me. I know that I will be tired later, but that is okay. I am excited for Adina too. I remember what it was like to get up at the crack of dawn. Even before the birds were chirping. My parents used to take me on trips to Washington, DC because that is where my Mom's sister, Sylvia, lived. I loved visiting Aunt Sylvia and Uncle George and of course, my cousin Dennis.

The first thing on Saturday morning, I would meet Dennis in the kitchen and we would eat ice cream for breakfast! That was always so much fun. And Dennis was the only person, besides my Mom, who was call me Jody Robin! Until the day that he died, he called me on my birthday and would say in his Baltimore twang, "Happy Birthday Jody Robin!"

And I was a grown woman! But he was so sweet and loving when he would say it to me. He always made me smile! I do miss him, but I think of him on my birthday and I am sure he is thinking of me too!

But those early morning trips were exciting because it was a change in routine. And of course, the minute we left the driveway and were heading down the street toward the stop sign on Healy Avenue and 25th Street, I would announce to my Mom that I was hungry! Don't know why, but it happened EVERYTIME!!

The very last time that I took a car trip with my parents was in 2002. I was in New York with the girls for two weeks in August. Rachel was 12 and Adina was 7. My parents asked if we wanted to go to Hershey, Pennsylvania! I couldn't really believe that they wanted to do a car trip with all of us, but we all agreed.

So we packed all the things that would keep the girls occupied. We packed food and drinks. My Mom insisted on taking towels and bedding and pillows!! The car was packed to the gills. But, we had all of our creature comforts. And we were off.

My Mom insisted on sitting in the back with the girls. I navigated with maps and my Dad drove. It was like old times, but I was 45 years old! It was strange, it was change and it was an adventure.

And no sooner did we pull out of the driveway, one of the girls said they were hungry! I had to laugh at that and so our adventure began. It was a great trip. We didn't have a set plan. We just decided what to do as we drove. We ended up getting off the main highway and driving on back roads. We saw lots of fields of corn and tiny towns with rolling green hills and brick houses with front porches and American flags posted proudly. We stayed in hotel dives, but we didn't care. I was more amazed that my Mom didn't mind the inconveniences, but it added to the change. We were on the road for about a week. When we returned back to New York, we were ready to get there and sleep in our own beds. But it was fun.

So change can be fun. But the anticipation can rattle you but then, that is what life is about. It can't always be the same.

Glue

Glue. What exactly is glue? According to Webster's Dictionary, glue is something that binds together. However the second meaning is that glue is something to satisfy the human desire for community.

Well, as Mother's Day approaches, I think of my Mom. She was the glue to our family. She had an unbelievable passion for making sure that not only was everyone taken care of, but that they knew what the rest of the family was up to.

My Mom spent an incredible amount of time on the telephone, but it was never idle chit chat. It was always with the intent to find out how you were, what you were doing and to tell you about the rest of the family. Of course, no matter what, when she was in New York, she had to tell me the weather report. That was funny. I don't know why she was compelled to tell me that, but it was sweet and I miss those phone calls now.

In the first year after she passed away, I tried desperately to fill her shoes. I called all the relatives on a weekly basis, just the way that my Mom did. I tried to ask the pertinent questions that she asked and share the news that I had found out on the other phone calls. But it wasn't the same. It was too sad for me to continue in the same exact manner of my Mom, so I tried a different path and does seem to be working for me now. Although my circle of family has narrowed quite a bit.

I use the power of the Internet. I write emails. I take and share photos. I don't get the vast details that I used to get, but it does work for me. My family members tell me that they love the photos because they feel like they are a part of our lives and sharing in the daily activities that I choose to document with my camera.

But with other family members, the glue has melted. Sometimes I find that sad, and other times it doesn't bother me.

But Gloria Horne was truly a unique person and she touched so many lives. Her glue still lives on.

People Come and Go

Something that I have come to learn and expect in life is that people come and go. I don't mean that in a bad way, but as we live our lives, we can't possibly hold on to every single relationship all the time in the same intensity.

When we are children, we go to school and see the same set of people for about eight years. Friendships develop. Sometimes you are lucky and one or two of those friendships carry through to your adulthood. It depends on the amount of time and effort spent in nurturing that relationship.

I still have two friends from elementary school. One friend from 3rd grade and one from 4th grade. We know about each other's lives, we know each other's spouses and children but almost never see each other. With the power of the web we are able to stay in touch. Those are special relationships that, no matter what, will continue to wind in and out and paths will cross when they are supposed to.

Later in college, other types of friendships are forged. Not necessarily long lasting, but impactful. Again, the power of the web has enabled us to reconnect. It is fun, but not necessarily the same type of bond that was created as a child.

In adulthood there are many, many, many acquaintances that have passed in and out of my life. Some were neighbors, some were dance partners, others were work-related. They were all important and touched my life in some way.

But we can't expect to hang on to each and every relationship in the same light forever. But if these people have made an impact, at some point there is a possibility that they will wind themselves back in again later.

Such is the fabric of my life. Each memory is like another stitch and I enjoy looking back now and then to remember the good times and forward to new ones.

This is a HUGE County

Broward County is really unbelievable.

Most people think of Broward County as Fort Lauderdale. But it is so, so, so much more than that. Yes, there are 23 miles of beaches fringing the coast from Palm Beach to Miami-Dade County. Yes, Fort Lauderdale is a burgeoning metropolis with towering office buildings and high-rise condos -- with mighty price tags I might add!

But you can find anything that you desire in Fort Lauderdale.

This week, Jose and I have started on a project of photographing all of the artwork where we are missing high-resolution photography. Now that Jose has his fancy schmancy professional camera, we have scheduled many full days of traveling around the county to the locations where our public art resides.

In the process, we have seen just about everything possible.

Today alone we saw the dichotomy of the overcrowded cities with the many restaurants and galleries along the streets. Charming of course for urbanites. But then we were suddenly in a place that was Broward County of 30 years ago. We were surrounded by horses, cows and iguanas!!

Then we saw a school teaming with hundreds of children.

Another school, a college campus was on lockdown and we couldn't go into that building. A bit scary and too close to the national news stories that we have been hearing lately.

Later in the day we were in a densely populated neighborhood area . . . a bit on the run down side, but a place for many families.

Just seeing the many sites in the county brings me back to my days of working at Parks and Recreation. I used to drive a county car from park to park and I learned early on how to adapt to any office space. All I needed was a telephone, a desk, a typewriter and I was good to go! We were opening so many parks back in the 1980s and I had to travel quite a bit around the county. Back then, Markham Park was way out in the boondocks. Now Weston is barely halfway to the boondocks.

Times have changed, but if you seek you shall find what ever it is that you want to call home in Broward County.

The Greening of the Leshinskys

Ok, so now I finally feel like we have made an effort to save the environment. I have always felt that we should. Ever since my 7th Science grade teacher, Mr. Hipkens, taught us about Earth Day, recycling and conservation, I have been preaching it for years.

When I was in 7th grade I used to make my Mom recycle the newspapers. We would save them for about a month in the basement and then my Dad would tie them up in paper garbage bags and twine and we would deliver them to the special bins at the Far Rockaway High School.

Then I convinced my Mom that there were too many pollutants in the water so she began to boil the water before she put it into the refrigerator. She did that everyday until the day she died.

We celebrated the first Earth Day in 1970. We had this HUGE ball that had the image of the Earth on the outside of it. We tossed it around on the girl's field hockey field.

Fast forward to today. Today is Earth Day 2007 and we installed those new bulbs in our lamps to replace the incandescent ones. Supposedly, one bulb saves you $60 a year. So we replaced about 10 bulbs. Let's see if that makes a dent in our electric bill?

We still recycle. I make sure that all the newspapers go in one bin and all the glass and plastic go in the other one. I am constantly pulling things out of the garbage to recycle. I know what our garbage dumps look like.

Back in 1986 when I was writing for the County Line, the County's employee newsletter, I used to interview different employees about their jobs and write profiles about them. One employee that I interviewed worked at the landfill in Pembroke Pines/Miramar area. There really was NOTHING out there at the time except for the landfill. He took me for a ride on the landfill and I took photos and he explained that there are two different areas at the landfill. One is for "wet" garbage and the other is for "dry" garbage.

We happened to be on the wet area. They cover the garbage with gravel. It doesn't smell like you think it might smell, however, it has a very distinct odor. Not something that you would want to spray in your house! But it was tolerable. As we stood on that landfill and the other workers were driving their trucks, you could feel the ground shaking under your feet as though the ground was made of rubber! It was the oddest feeling that I have ever felt (well, except for the earthquake that we were in, but that is another story!).

Anyway, my point is, since I have seen how much garbage there is, just in Broward county, I get frustrated when I see wasted items end up in the garbage pail. I know that it is only going to end up in a landfill and it will take hundreds if not thousands of years to decompose. We HAVE to find a way to recycle more and not waste anything.

I recently read Al Gore's book about Global Warming. I am not sure how much is real and how much is rhetoric, but if everyone does something, no matter how small or insignificant, we can make a difference.

Unplug appliances that are not in use, they still pull power. Turn off the TV when you leave a room. Take shorter showers. Wash the clothes in cold water. Take Mass Transit. Plan your trips to the grocery and the post office so that you don't waste gas. Whatever you do, at least it is something!

Life's Simple Pleasures

Sometimes life's simple pleasures are what makes the best memories.

Today the Leshinskys indulged themselves with many of life's simple pleasures. This morning I slept late. It was such a wonderful feeling to wake up slowly. Letting the layers of the night's dreams slip away and allow conciousness to replace it gradually. As I opened my eyes I realized that my sweet cat, Grace, was curled up next to me in a little ball up against my stomach. When I ran my hand on her fur she rewarded me with a very loud purring sound that is so soothing to me.

Then I made myself a pot of coffee and sat in the kitchen with Rachel and watched silly kids show from the 80s. We giggled at the weird fashions and big hair!

After doing three loads of laundry and scrubbing the toilets (ok, so not all are memorable) we headed out to the pool. Just sitting on a lounge chair reading a book while the warm breezes kept me cool was so relaxing and good for my soul. And watching my girls splash around in the pool -- well it just all felt right. It is what we used to do in our free time and somewhere along the line got too busy to find the time to stop and relax.

To top off the day we allowed Rachel to go to a concert with her friends while we took Gert out to dinner and then to Jaxon's for ice cream. I don't care how old you are, when you eat ice cream you feel like a kid. Another one of life's simple pleasures and some more memories.

Life is so Precious

Life, it has so many meaning. A mother gives life to her child. A person lives their life. You can have life-long friends. But the actual part of life that keeps us breathing, the blood pumping through our veins and the brain waves active . . . that is so fragile.

Two days ago Joel was running a simple errand at Kinko's. He needed more take-away menus printed. As he stood in the store looking out the plate glass window which gave him an eye view of University Drive, just north of Oakland Park Boulevard, Joel witnessed an accident that sent several to the hospital but claimed one young woman's life.

A very loud noise made Joel and the manager of Kinko's look out of the window. Joel said it was like watching a movie in slow motion. Perhaps the brain can't process all of the information that is occuring so quickly in front of your eyes that the activity seems to slow down. He said that one car crossed the median and ended up faceing the wrong way in the northbound lane but flipped over and over and then another car hit that one and flipped in the other direction.

When Joel grasped the reality of what had just happened, he ran out to see if he could help. He ran to the first SUV that was now lying on its roof. One young woman was crying and pinned down by her friend who was leaning on her. Joel took one look into the second woman's eyes and froze. He just knew in that instant that there was no life there.

The details went on. They aren't important anymore. It was a terrible scene. The ambulances finally arrived along with the fire engines and the police officers. Joel was no longer needed and was in the way. But in that one moment, he had seen death and it shook him to the bone.

He called me many times that day. I could hear the fear in his voice.

I have come in contact with death several times over the years. I have lost many family members to old age and illnesses. You never get used to seeing that blank stare that chills your bones that tells you there is no longer any life. It isn't like in the movies or on television. It is, however, a cruel reminder that we too will die.

Joel always avoided coming with me to funerals and hospitals. But this week he had a front row seat and found out how precious life it. I don't think he will ever forget it now.

Routines

There is something to be said about routines. Humans are creatures of habits. We create our own sort of patterns in life, in our work environment, in our home environment and down to the pattern of a day in our life.

When we break the pattern of the routine we have to relearn a new temporary pattern. Such as the pattern of a vacation. These, of course, are welcome breaks. But when we, once again, return to our patterns . . . we slip easily into a routine.

For me, my daily routine is a comfort to me. It is like an old friend that welcomes me back with open arms and fluffy slippers. I used to complain about how the routines were boring, but as I get older, I enjoy them more.

I like hearing the whoose of the shower behind the closed door as Joel gets ready for the day. I like hearing the cat pawing at the door to get in so she can jump up onto the sink and meow for someone to turn on the water to a trickle so she can take a drink. I like turning on my tea pot to make my cup of green tea as I listen to the early morning news and put on my make up. I like waking up the girls and kissing them good bye and wishing them a good day at school. I even like getting on the trolley so that I don't have to fight the traffic on the way to work.

This morning there was a kink in my routine. Not a bad one. But a bit of a change. There was an accident on the corner of Broward Blvd. and Andrews Avenue. So I told the trolley driver that I would walk the rest of the way to work. Not a long distance. A nice stretch of my legs too.

As I approached my building something in me said that I needed orange juice and a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee! So I turned, walked toward the restaurants and smiled.

A change up in the routine is good, no matter how minute it is. Yes, I got my coffee. Then I went around the bend to the Downtown Deli for my orange juice. The restaurant owners haven't seen me in a long time and wanted to chat. It was a warm feeling. Like a neighborhood!

So, routines are nice, but a little change now and then can be good for the soul.

It is a New World

I am sitting here at a Mac computer (Jose would be proud of me), sipping my cup of Seattle's Best coffee in a relatively dark corner of the "Grown Ups Lounge" of Wannado City. All around me is the ambient noise of hundreds of children having fun. We are inside of a HUGE complex, sort of like an indoor theme park. The kids are perfectly safe. They are not allowed to leave the premises without the adult that brought them in.

The kids can do and be anything they want. They can be a fireman, a beautician, a judge or a clown! it is fun. It is a wild way to allow kids to explore their imagination, try out different professions and just be silly.

This is also the first time that Rachel has been told that she is too old and is considered an adult. However, some of the kids running each activity don't know that! They let her in to the Coca Cola Bottling Plant! Then they are paid in Wannado currency! They can go and buy stuff later.

It really is a new world. It is a bit like day camp, a bit like baby sitting, but with a whole lot of imagination involved and the parents can go off and zone out in this area where I am sitting now.

I can look down from the "balcony" and see the activity all around. I don't feel isolated. And the kids can come visiit me whenever they want. Or they just use their cell phones to call me!!

It is a fun way to spend the day. And, it is only 15 minutes from my house. I don't know why I never took Adina here before! Oh well, now I know.

Monkey in the Middle

Remember the game Monkey inthe Middle? Well lately that is how my relationship feels with my father.

There is something going on that I am not aware of because there is literally no discussion of feelings by my father. I can only guess that he is angry or upset about something that Joel either did or didn't do. But since that is a territory that is not discussed, I can only guess.

It is sad because it is severely affecting my relationship. But it is also a can of worms that I am not sure I am ready or want to open.

A few weeks ago my dad went to the restaurant with some friends for breakfast. Joel came over to say good morning and how was everyone. My dad completely ignored him like he didn't even exist and made some very nasty comments to his friends about Joel. Now I will give my dad the benefit of the doubt that perhaps he didn't know Joel was standing there and that Joel could hear everything that was being said. But still, Joel's feelings were hurt and since that day has avoided all contact with my dad.

Last week my dad came downtown because he drove Elaine to work. He came to visit me in my office and I introduced him to everyone there. Then we went downstairs and had lunch. When the conversation steered toward Passover and what was he doing? I thought that Elaine and my dad were leaving town for the holidays. But he said that he was here. So I invited him to our house and I could see how uncomfortable he was in trying to answer me. He said that he was busy and that he and Elaine were having dinner with some of their "cronies." When I said that he should be with his family, he changed the subject.

Then last night Roger was in town and asked us to join them for dinner. Joel said that he just couldn't do it. So I went with the girls. They didn't want to go either but I said that they had to. At one point during dinner Rachel was teasing my dad about him buying her a car for her birthday. Well, that just opened up the flood gates.

My dad said, "I bought your mom a car so your dad should buy you a car." I lost it. I said, "No you didn't buy me a car. I never owned a car until I was married and that was the Monte Carlo that you asked me if I wanted on my wedding night and then proceeded to take all of my wedding money from me before we even left for the honeymoon." He disagreed with me and said that he bought me a station wagon. I said I never had a station wagon. And then I tuned out. I saw his lips moving and in my head it was as though my mom said to me, "you aren't going to win anything by arguing so just be quiet."

It was as though I was 15 years old again and I was reduced to getting punished because I was speaking out and expressing my mind.

Maybe that is why I have self confidence issues now and then.

Well, I really feel like I am stuck in the middle. My dad and Joel are on either side of me and that ball is being tossed above my head and I can't reach it.

I don't feel that there is any way to win this one, so I will just let it go because I love my husband and even though my dad makes it really difficult, I do love him too.

Condo Commanders

As I sit here in the comfort of my home I am still reeling from the effects of last night's Town Hall-style meeting at the Environ Cultural Center. A group of condo commandos, not even board members, decided to call this meeting to let the people of Inverrary know that they didn't want any more development in Inverrary.

Well, that sounds like a good topic doesn't it? Who would want more development in their neighborhood? We already have 19.000 people living in Inverrary which was built in 1971 as a retirement golf community. We already have problems with too much traffic on Inverrary Boulevard, difficulty getting in and out of the neighborhood when we want to get to work on time. If there were any more development it would have to be on the open space -- which used to be the most pristine, lauded golf courses in Broward County.

However, there is a document that was created in 1971 called a Covenant or a Deed Restriction. This piece of paper clearly states that the golf courses must always be used for recreational purposes. There is a long laundry list of the types of recreational purposes on that document. And the best part is that it was put in place for 25 years, which of course have come and gone, but the language clearly states that it automatically renews for an additional 10 years at the end of the 25 year and perpetually for 10 year periods. Of course, like any legal document, it can be amended, but it needs a 2/3 vote from ALL of the residents of Inverrary. Do the math! That would be about 12,600 people. Now when there is a presidential election barely 2,500 people get out and vote. So what makes anyone think that 12,000 would vote for additional congestion in their neighborhood??

Anyway, the real purpose of last night's meeting came to a head as this person, Bill Eisenberg, angrily and very sarcastically, tried to read the minutes of all of the Inverrary Association meetings and draw conclusions that Joel Leshinsky ran all the meetings illegally because he never had quorums and that maybe he had something to gain by allowing the developers to purchase the land and try to encourage the residents with enticements to allow the development of new housing in Inverrary.

The man, Bill Eisenberg, came armed with an overhead projector, slides of the minutes and letters that were written to lawyers. He brought two men from the Hills of Inverrary -- the development where we live. They each had the opportunity to speak and draw additional conclusions about how Joel Leshinsky might be conducting business for his personal gain. Of course they really never said that because Joel could sue them for defamation of character, but they kept saying things like, "draw your own conclusions folks, why else would Joel Leshinsky hold these meetings in the middle of the day when people are working? He didn't really want to have a quorum."

It was all so surreal. There were probably 200 people, maybe more in the room. Of course, they started to shout things out to Bill Eisenberg like, "What is your point?" "Who is Joel Leshinsky and is he here tonight?"

Well that is when Joel stood up. I stood up too and made Rachel and Adina stand up so that they could see who we were. I am very proud of my husband and for all of the time he has volunteered for the betterment of our community. It takes a lot of patience and dedication to do what he has done over the past eight years as president of the inverrary Association. Really, and truly, no one else wanted this position and hardly anyone attends the meetings. However, over the years Joel has held many Town Hall Meetings. he has invited City and County officials to come out and speak to the residents to let them know what is going on in their community and the larger community of the County. He also has invited state legislators to come to these meetings to let residents know what is going on at the state level that affects us.

The best part was when Mayor Richard Kaplan got up to speak. He had been taking notes on what Bill and all of the speakers were accusing Joel of. He spoke to each and every point speaking slowly and very clearly in layman's terminology. He spoke very highly of Joel. He didn't have to do that either.

Then Joel was allowed to stand up and speak. They only gave him three minutes to defend himself, but then again this wasn't a trial. He said that most of these facts were incorrect ant that there will be an Inverrary Association Town Hall Meeting in a couple of weeks and everyone is invited back to hear the facts. At that meeting will be Steve Weinberg, the Inverrary Association's lawyer who was denied access to last night's meeting by Bill Eisenberg because he told Steve it was HIS meeting and Steve was not welcome. Steve also brought with him a Land Use Attorney who was also denied access. Once Joel mentioned this fact, the meeting immediately broke up and everyone got up and left the building.

The meeting was three hours long. The folks streaming out were saying that it was a ridiculous meeting and there was no point made. A Sun-Sentinel reporter was there and taking notes and interviewing people as they exited the building. So I am sure there will be a follow up article in the paper.

We were totally exhausted and didn't get home until 10 pm. I felt bad that the kids saw how cruel adults can be to each other. Rachel was crying but Adina took it well. But they saw what their father does. And he does it completely on a voluntary basis so that the community will be a better place for them to live in. He also does it so that they understand the importance of volunteering and giving back to your community. And, obviously, we don't give in order to receive. We give because we believe in the cause.

And that is the point that Condo Commanders miss. They seem to have small lives and this condo business fills some void in their small lives and this is probably the most important thing that will ever happen. And that is so sad. Life is for living and volunteering should be a done for the cause not for personal gain.

My Head is Full of Nothing

Sometimes I feel like there is a whole lot of nothing going on in my head.

Yeah, I know that sounds cliche, but I have just come through a year of stress, a year where every moment was programmed with deadlines that had to be met. And then, the deadlines overlapped. There was no down time. Every moment had to count.

I learned, very quickly, how to get things done as efficiently as possible and to delegate what I couldn't possibly do myself.

Since January 25, I have had this feeling of unwinding -- different of course from unraveling which is a negative. But instead, I am learning to relax and let go. It is okay to read a book instead of reading email. It is okay to sit a glass of wine and put my feet up on the couch without feeling guilty that the laundry isn't getting done. I have been moving at a slower pace.

Then I realize that I am sitting in my car, on the trolley or standing in line somewhere and there is a whole lot of nothing going on in my head. No particular thought pattern. Just observing the world without judgement or though processes.

It is a good feeling. I have been able to let go a bit. The world will exist without me making lists and checking off what needs to get done.

Of course, I still make sure that the bills are paid, the laundry is washed and folded, the house gets cleaned, the girls get to wherever they need to be, I get myself to and from work and get the work done. That hasn't changed.

What has changed is the urgency inside me to make it all happen faster. There is no sense of urgency now.

I feel that I have more time, although in reality, no one has more time. It is just how well you manage your time in order to allow yourself the time to relax, or go to the gym, or to the beach.

So, for now, a whole lot of nothing in my head is a good place to be. Just in time for my vacation next week with the girls.

Another Successful Public Art Installation

Okay, so this time I didn't have the heartache, the worries, the involvement, the creativity or the responsibilities like I did with the Broward Light Project event, but as of two weeks ago, I was plunged into the heart of the dedication ceremony for the ArtsPark at Young Circle . . . along with two other staff members of the Broward Cultural Division. And, last night, we sat back and watched the event unfold in perfect harmony.

Two weeks ago Steve Glassman, Claire Garrett and I realized that the City of Hollywood was leaving the County out of the information loop. We weren't included in their press release proofing, we didn't know if our public artist -- who was commissioned with two-percent of the construction budget for the ArtsPark -- to work in tandam with the architect for this project, wouldn't be properly recognized. So we contacted the city staff, met with them and were thrust into the heart of the planning process.

The past two weeks were spent on countless calls and emails back and forth to assist in the coordination of communication. No complaints here, just facts.

The excitement was building, the informational emails were flying from the City and we forwarded them on to our lists. We sent out emails about Ritsuko Taho, the public artist from Japan who was commissioned to create a spectacular water sculpture called Millennium Springs that shoots plumes of water 20 feet into the air and moves in a pattern that was measured from the biorhythm of the Baobab tree in the park. She also created a Dreamwave-- also known as the "Tree of Life," and is considered to be a sacred tree and an inspiration for mythology and legend in West Africa and other regions of the world where it grows -- is a ceremonial rope that will be changed annually. And finally, an e-sculpture which consists of various webcams sprinkled throughout the park so that if you can't visit the park as often as you like, you can click onto your computer and take a peek everyone now and then, or perhaps make it your home page so that you can always visit.

The entire concept is unique and exciting. Something completely different than the Broward Cultural Division's Public Art and Design Program has done yet.

The evening began with a private reception at a restaurant adajant to the park. The glasses were clinking, the spirits were lifted, smiles were flashed. At around 6 p.m. we left the reception, were handed a complimentary blanket and we walked across the street into the circle. There were crowds of people entering the park. There was "Britto Central" set up in a tent selling original Romero Britto merchandise. Oh, did I mention that Romero Britto was at the event too??

There were musicians sprinkled here and there throughout the park playing various types of music. There were "living sculptures" standing frozen in the white toga-like costumes with their pasty-white makeup and moving just a fraction so that you realized that they weren't sculptures!

After checking in at a tent and receiving a huge ArtsPark button and a bottle of water and we were pointed over to the VIP area that had been "roped" off with red ribbons. There in the third row sat Joel and Adina, my sweet family had saved me a chair! Rachel was home not feeling too well.

Steve and Rande sat behind me. Claire sat on the other side of the audience so that she was closer to the Baobab tree because at the appropriate time she was going over to the tree to stand in front of the webcam to wave at Ritsuko, who couldn't be here because she was in Japan! But thanks to her e-sculpture she was able to be part of the ceremony.

The evening began with an acappella group singing and making sounds like guitars and drums. They were very good, but too long. Spero Canton, was the MC (I remember him from years ago when Joel worked at ON TV and he was at BellSouth). Commissioner Sue Gunzburger was next. Since Mayor Eggelletion couldn't attend, she spoke for both of them. Samantha wrote both speeches. The commissioner used both and added a bit of her own flair. She even had the Broward Cultural Council and Division members stand and she recognized each and every one of us. Okay, so she called Steve -- Steve Greenburger when she should have said Steve Glassman, but she corrected herself before she sat down. That was very personable of her.

The evening went on and on, each and every city commissioner came up to the podium and spoke, including the city manager, Cameron Benson -- who I remember as a kid fresh out of college coming into our office to visit Cathy Zaden back in the 1980s! Finally Margi Nothard, the lead architect, spoke and gave a "walking tour" of the park and artwork and a two-minute video was shown which featured the mayor of Hollywood and our public artist Ritsuko Taho.

The fountain was lit with lots of pomp and circumstance -- music and lasers, oohs and aaahs were heard from the crowd. The crowd was allowed to experience the movements of the water sculpture and watch the changing lights and were even sprinkled with droplets thanks to the very heavy gusts of wind that blew them in various directions.

Then we were asked to walk toward the Romero Britto sculpture which was wrapped in a very colorful parachute material. A firefighter was lowered from a lift truck -- way up in the air -- to hook onto the parachute material and then lifted back up very slowly to reveal the butterfly-shaped sculpture that Romero Britto donated to the City of Hollywood.

It was a dramatic moment.

A deep sigh. It was over. It was a beautiful evening. And -- this is only phase one!! There will be two more phases as this was only the dedication of the opening of the park itself and the artwork. Next will be the actual building of the facilities within the park which includes a cultural center where hands-on arts activities will take place, art exhibits, performances and more!

So, there is more to come . . . stand by!

Muscle Memory

I have read that muscles have a memory. Not really like a brain having a memory, but more like a rechargable battery. If you work out regularly, as a part of your life but then get sidelined by whatever . . . your muscles will "remember" where you left off. True, it takes a couple of weeks to get back into the shape that you once were when you stopped working out, but then the muscle remembers and suddenly it gets easier to work out.

Well, I was at the gym today. I was thinking about that, but then I got to thinking about why I do the exercises that I do. And, I tend to do those exercises in a particular order as well.

When I start to work out, I start by stretching -- trying to reach my hands to the floor -- hard at the beginning but then as I warm up it is easier. As I did that today, I heard Debbie Rodenski's voice telling me how to reach to the floor and to round my back as I rolled up slowly.

Wow, I hadn't thought of Debbie in a long time. She was my jazz dance teacher for about 15 years.

Then that got me thinking about the next exercise. I heard Pablo Malco's voice telling me to walk my hands away from my feet so that you are in an upside down "V" and then keeping my hands flat, walk my feet in place one and then the other. Then he would tell us to bend our elbows so that we were doing a sort of upside down push up. Pablo was my hip-hop dance teacher.

Okay, now this was getting fun.

Then I was sitting on the floor, feet flat against each other and knees flat on the mat. Now I heard Nancy Clouse telling the girls in the American Gymnastics gym in Margate to flap the knees up and down like a butterfly and then touch your nose to your toes! Nancy and I taught gymnastics together when I first moved to Florida.

Then lying on my back, knees bent, feet flat on the floor -- I heard Mrs. Schneider (Danny's Mom) -- telling me to raise my hips to the ceiling (she was my Yoga teacher in at the Y when I was in high school!

Then I had one foot flat on the floor, knee bent, the other leg bent with my foot on my knee and that knee facing the side wall (confusing I know). Reaching inside and around the leg and pushing with my elbow -- never mind too hard to explain -- I heard Kenny, another jazz dance teacher from the University Center telling us how to stretch out our hamstrings.

Well, you get the idea. But what really amazed me is that my routine is a compilation of all of the various activities I have done over the years. I have gathered the best of the best and repeated them to create my own workout. I suppose that is what most people do. But I remember and thank all of my teachers who have inspired me to keep going.

I am still a 60s Child

Something that will remain deep in my core is the fact that I am a product of the 60s. I can't help it so I just accept it. The values and beliefs that I have were formed at a time when the world was rapidly changing.

There was a war going on in a remote jungle overseas. A war that was invisible to me until my parents would turn on the evening news. Suddenly I was thrust into a world of daily body counts, blurry images of tropical forests with young boys squatting in the underbrush and firing their weapons at the "enemy." It was our first encounter with real time news.

Then the next set of images were right here in my own country. More blurry black and white images of dark skinned men and women calmly marching down main streets in the deep south getting pushed back by white skinned men in police uniforms welding fire hoses and aiming them at the wall of people peacefully demonstrating that they are not afraid to ask for equality.

The one image that will NEVER leave me is the day that my grandmother and I sat in her kitchen, surrounded by the familiar smells of her eastern European recipes bubbling on the stove and the fruit-patterned wallpaper of the walls. The man on the TV slowly removed his horn-rimmed eyeglasses with one hand and immediately swiped away tears from his eyes -- something that newscasters are never supposed to do (show emotion) -- and drew in a deep breath and announced, "President Kennedy has been shot and pronounced dead." Walter Cronkite was dazed and reflected the same confused look on his face that now appeared on my grandmother's face. I am sure that the entire nation felt exactly the same at that moment in time. Time stood still for me. At six years old my world caved at that moment. I realized right there that NOTHING was forever.

All of these events left an indelible mark on me. All of the follk singers of that era affected me even more. Pete Seegar, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell, Arlo Guthrie. Their songs spoke to my heart. I felt the world's pain. As I grew up I became angry about antisemitism, about predjudism, about war.

I couldn't understand why people had so much hate in them when we live in such a beautiful country. There are so many reasons to live and to love. Why waste so much energy on hate?

So when Arlo Guthrie came to town a few weeks ago, I took Rachel to see him. I was overwhelmed in how little he has changed. He still looks exactly the same. Same long, way hair parted down the middle -- okay so it is now white. Same pristine voice. Same long-winded stories that tell a lot about our history but also make you smile.

Then when the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival showed the Concert for Bangladesh I was once again in my glory. Watching George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Leon Russell and Eric Clapton on the large screen performing songs from my youth was wonderful. And, I was actually at that concert at Madison Square Garden! I remember it well.

An era gone by, but not forgotten. It will be with me forever. And for that . . . I am glad to be a child of the 60s.

Volkswagon Bug

Who knew that a bug could create a family memory?

That's right, a bug. A huge (well maybe not that big), black, shiny, noisy bug made a family memory for the Leshinskys last night.

It all started at about 10:30 pm when Rachel and I were in my bed, all relaxed in pajamas -- the clothing of choice for this vacation -- watching Haunted Hotels on the Travel Channel (very exciting stuff here). I was almost sleeping when all of a sudden we hear this really weird noise.

First I think it is part of the TV show we are watching. But then I realized that the buzzing noise is in my bedroom. Then this thing starts flying into the TV screen! But it didn't have a normal pattern like a fly or a mosquito or even a moth. It would slam into the TV screen and bounce off and drop to the floor.

We really couldn't see anything because the lights were off and we had a couple of candles burning. So I flipped on the light and Rachel starts screaming and jumping under the covers!

So I get up (Rachel is now yelling out, "where are you going? don't leave me!"). I am not going to let this stupid insect scare me. So I went into the bathroom to get a magazine to swat this thing.

Then we sat on the bed to wait. And wait. And wait. Suddenly this huge thing flies up off the floor from under the furniture and starts flying toward the lamp then toward the ceiling and bounced off the ceiling and hits the window shade and falls down behind the bed.

Everyone once in a while it buzzed and flew up to the ceiling again and back behind the bed.

It was too fast for me to even get to. So I went downstairs to get Grace (our cat) while Rachel was whining, "please don't leave me alone with that thing!" I was giggling all the way downstairs.

Poor Grace was sleeping and was dazed when I carried her upstairs. We sat on the edge of the bed close to where we last saw this bug. But we eventually gave up.

Joel came upstairs, we were both tired and went to sleep.

I was in this really nice, deep sleep and suddenly Joel leaps out of bed and is making weird noises. I was sleepy and not sure what he was doing. Finally I found my voice and asked him. He said, "that Volkswagon bug was in my mouth!"

That is all I had to hear. I burst out laughing. I knew that was really gross and I would have been terrified if I woke up to find a bug in my mouth. But I couldn't help but laugh. I was laughing so hard that I had to share this information with Rachel. So I went into her room and told her to come into our room. I said, "Daddy has something to tell you."

So he did and we laughed even harder. Then Adina woke up and joined us and we told her the story. We laughed again!

This went on for about an hour. We were all cuddled together in bed, laughing and talking.

We never did find the bug, but it certainly is a moment in time that will stick with us!

Vacation Brain

There is definitely a different mind set when you are on vacation.

The pace of living changes. Time takes on a different meaning. Eating patterns change. Sleeping patterns change.

But then again, that is what vacations are for. To completely change your patterns so that you can regroup and recharge your batteries.

I completely enjoy staying home on vacation with my girls. We slept late every day. Everyday we cleaned up a different area of the house. One day it was the laundry room. Another day it was the pantry. Yesterday was Adina's bedroom. Wow, now that was a task that took six hours because we had to go through every single drawer and dump it out and get rid of whatever doesn't fit and then we did the same with her closet.

Once we finish, we get a fabulous feeling of accomplishment. It makes me laugh because these accomlishments are so simple but feel so wonderful.

So different than accomplishments at work. At work we expect to have milestones and check off the to do list from now and then and then at the end of the year we look back to see what we have accomplished.

But in our home lives, we don't usually think about milestones or to do lists. But if we did, we could look back and see all of the floors that we had scrubbed or the loads of laundry that we washed and dried. Not as impressive, but equally as or more important since it prepares us and creates the very foundation for the rest of our daily living. We can't possibly go to work in dirty or wrinkled clothing. We can't go to work hungry because we forgot to go shopping for food. So we do all this prep work at home. But when both parents work full time and have kids, the free time doesn't exist. Every moment matters. Every moment is programmed.

That is why I love the free time in my own home. If I don't want to get out of pajamas -- I just don't. If I want to watch TV until my eyeballs fall out -- I do. But the best part is that my two sweet girls enjoy doing nothing equally as much as I enjoy it.

So, my vacation has been a break from thinking in fast motion. Next week that will change, but I will be ready. I may not move as fast as I normally do, but I will be rested. At least for day number one!!

So for now, I am off to drift back into my vacation brain.