People Come and Go

Something that I have come to learn and expect in life is that people come and go. I don't mean that in a bad way, but as we live our lives, we can't possibly hold on to every single relationship all the time in the same intensity.

When we are children, we go to school and see the same set of people for about eight years. Friendships develop. Sometimes you are lucky and one or two of those friendships carry through to your adulthood. It depends on the amount of time and effort spent in nurturing that relationship.

I still have two friends from elementary school. One friend from 3rd grade and one from 4th grade. We know about each other's lives, we know each other's spouses and children but almost never see each other. With the power of the web we are able to stay in touch. Those are special relationships that, no matter what, will continue to wind in and out and paths will cross when they are supposed to.

Later in college, other types of friendships are forged. Not necessarily long lasting, but impactful. Again, the power of the web has enabled us to reconnect. It is fun, but not necessarily the same type of bond that was created as a child.

In adulthood there are many, many, many acquaintances that have passed in and out of my life. Some were neighbors, some were dance partners, others were work-related. They were all important and touched my life in some way.

But we can't expect to hang on to each and every relationship in the same light forever. But if these people have made an impact, at some point there is a possibility that they will wind themselves back in again later.

Such is the fabric of my life. Each memory is like another stitch and I enjoy looking back now and then to remember the good times and forward to new ones.

This is a HUGE County

Broward County is really unbelievable.

Most people think of Broward County as Fort Lauderdale. But it is so, so, so much more than that. Yes, there are 23 miles of beaches fringing the coast from Palm Beach to Miami-Dade County. Yes, Fort Lauderdale is a burgeoning metropolis with towering office buildings and high-rise condos -- with mighty price tags I might add!

But you can find anything that you desire in Fort Lauderdale.

This week, Jose and I have started on a project of photographing all of the artwork where we are missing high-resolution photography. Now that Jose has his fancy schmancy professional camera, we have scheduled many full days of traveling around the county to the locations where our public art resides.

In the process, we have seen just about everything possible.

Today alone we saw the dichotomy of the overcrowded cities with the many restaurants and galleries along the streets. Charming of course for urbanites. But then we were suddenly in a place that was Broward County of 30 years ago. We were surrounded by horses, cows and iguanas!!

Then we saw a school teaming with hundreds of children.

Another school, a college campus was on lockdown and we couldn't go into that building. A bit scary and too close to the national news stories that we have been hearing lately.

Later in the day we were in a densely populated neighborhood area . . . a bit on the run down side, but a place for many families.

Just seeing the many sites in the county brings me back to my days of working at Parks and Recreation. I used to drive a county car from park to park and I learned early on how to adapt to any office space. All I needed was a telephone, a desk, a typewriter and I was good to go! We were opening so many parks back in the 1980s and I had to travel quite a bit around the county. Back then, Markham Park was way out in the boondocks. Now Weston is barely halfway to the boondocks.

Times have changed, but if you seek you shall find what ever it is that you want to call home in Broward County.

The Greening of the Leshinskys

Ok, so now I finally feel like we have made an effort to save the environment. I have always felt that we should. Ever since my 7th Science grade teacher, Mr. Hipkens, taught us about Earth Day, recycling and conservation, I have been preaching it for years.

When I was in 7th grade I used to make my Mom recycle the newspapers. We would save them for about a month in the basement and then my Dad would tie them up in paper garbage bags and twine and we would deliver them to the special bins at the Far Rockaway High School.

Then I convinced my Mom that there were too many pollutants in the water so she began to boil the water before she put it into the refrigerator. She did that everyday until the day she died.

We celebrated the first Earth Day in 1970. We had this HUGE ball that had the image of the Earth on the outside of it. We tossed it around on the girl's field hockey field.

Fast forward to today. Today is Earth Day 2007 and we installed those new bulbs in our lamps to replace the incandescent ones. Supposedly, one bulb saves you $60 a year. So we replaced about 10 bulbs. Let's see if that makes a dent in our electric bill?

We still recycle. I make sure that all the newspapers go in one bin and all the glass and plastic go in the other one. I am constantly pulling things out of the garbage to recycle. I know what our garbage dumps look like.

Back in 1986 when I was writing for the County Line, the County's employee newsletter, I used to interview different employees about their jobs and write profiles about them. One employee that I interviewed worked at the landfill in Pembroke Pines/Miramar area. There really was NOTHING out there at the time except for the landfill. He took me for a ride on the landfill and I took photos and he explained that there are two different areas at the landfill. One is for "wet" garbage and the other is for "dry" garbage.

We happened to be on the wet area. They cover the garbage with gravel. It doesn't smell like you think it might smell, however, it has a very distinct odor. Not something that you would want to spray in your house! But it was tolerable. As we stood on that landfill and the other workers were driving their trucks, you could feel the ground shaking under your feet as though the ground was made of rubber! It was the oddest feeling that I have ever felt (well, except for the earthquake that we were in, but that is another story!).

Anyway, my point is, since I have seen how much garbage there is, just in Broward county, I get frustrated when I see wasted items end up in the garbage pail. I know that it is only going to end up in a landfill and it will take hundreds if not thousands of years to decompose. We HAVE to find a way to recycle more and not waste anything.

I recently read Al Gore's book about Global Warming. I am not sure how much is real and how much is rhetoric, but if everyone does something, no matter how small or insignificant, we can make a difference.

Unplug appliances that are not in use, they still pull power. Turn off the TV when you leave a room. Take shorter showers. Wash the clothes in cold water. Take Mass Transit. Plan your trips to the grocery and the post office so that you don't waste gas. Whatever you do, at least it is something!

Life's Simple Pleasures

Sometimes life's simple pleasures are what makes the best memories.

Today the Leshinskys indulged themselves with many of life's simple pleasures. This morning I slept late. It was such a wonderful feeling to wake up slowly. Letting the layers of the night's dreams slip away and allow conciousness to replace it gradually. As I opened my eyes I realized that my sweet cat, Grace, was curled up next to me in a little ball up against my stomach. When I ran my hand on her fur she rewarded me with a very loud purring sound that is so soothing to me.

Then I made myself a pot of coffee and sat in the kitchen with Rachel and watched silly kids show from the 80s. We giggled at the weird fashions and big hair!

After doing three loads of laundry and scrubbing the toilets (ok, so not all are memorable) we headed out to the pool. Just sitting on a lounge chair reading a book while the warm breezes kept me cool was so relaxing and good for my soul. And watching my girls splash around in the pool -- well it just all felt right. It is what we used to do in our free time and somewhere along the line got too busy to find the time to stop and relax.

To top off the day we allowed Rachel to go to a concert with her friends while we took Gert out to dinner and then to Jaxon's for ice cream. I don't care how old you are, when you eat ice cream you feel like a kid. Another one of life's simple pleasures and some more memories.

Life is so Precious

Life, it has so many meaning. A mother gives life to her child. A person lives their life. You can have life-long friends. But the actual part of life that keeps us breathing, the blood pumping through our veins and the brain waves active . . . that is so fragile.

Two days ago Joel was running a simple errand at Kinko's. He needed more take-away menus printed. As he stood in the store looking out the plate glass window which gave him an eye view of University Drive, just north of Oakland Park Boulevard, Joel witnessed an accident that sent several to the hospital but claimed one young woman's life.

A very loud noise made Joel and the manager of Kinko's look out of the window. Joel said it was like watching a movie in slow motion. Perhaps the brain can't process all of the information that is occuring so quickly in front of your eyes that the activity seems to slow down. He said that one car crossed the median and ended up faceing the wrong way in the northbound lane but flipped over and over and then another car hit that one and flipped in the other direction.

When Joel grasped the reality of what had just happened, he ran out to see if he could help. He ran to the first SUV that was now lying on its roof. One young woman was crying and pinned down by her friend who was leaning on her. Joel took one look into the second woman's eyes and froze. He just knew in that instant that there was no life there.

The details went on. They aren't important anymore. It was a terrible scene. The ambulances finally arrived along with the fire engines and the police officers. Joel was no longer needed and was in the way. But in that one moment, he had seen death and it shook him to the bone.

He called me many times that day. I could hear the fear in his voice.

I have come in contact with death several times over the years. I have lost many family members to old age and illnesses. You never get used to seeing that blank stare that chills your bones that tells you there is no longer any life. It isn't like in the movies or on television. It is, however, a cruel reminder that we too will die.

Joel always avoided coming with me to funerals and hospitals. But this week he had a front row seat and found out how precious life it. I don't think he will ever forget it now.

Routines

There is something to be said about routines. Humans are creatures of habits. We create our own sort of patterns in life, in our work environment, in our home environment and down to the pattern of a day in our life.

When we break the pattern of the routine we have to relearn a new temporary pattern. Such as the pattern of a vacation. These, of course, are welcome breaks. But when we, once again, return to our patterns . . . we slip easily into a routine.

For me, my daily routine is a comfort to me. It is like an old friend that welcomes me back with open arms and fluffy slippers. I used to complain about how the routines were boring, but as I get older, I enjoy them more.

I like hearing the whoose of the shower behind the closed door as Joel gets ready for the day. I like hearing the cat pawing at the door to get in so she can jump up onto the sink and meow for someone to turn on the water to a trickle so she can take a drink. I like turning on my tea pot to make my cup of green tea as I listen to the early morning news and put on my make up. I like waking up the girls and kissing them good bye and wishing them a good day at school. I even like getting on the trolley so that I don't have to fight the traffic on the way to work.

This morning there was a kink in my routine. Not a bad one. But a bit of a change. There was an accident on the corner of Broward Blvd. and Andrews Avenue. So I told the trolley driver that I would walk the rest of the way to work. Not a long distance. A nice stretch of my legs too.

As I approached my building something in me said that I needed orange juice and a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee! So I turned, walked toward the restaurants and smiled.

A change up in the routine is good, no matter how minute it is. Yes, I got my coffee. Then I went around the bend to the Downtown Deli for my orange juice. The restaurant owners haven't seen me in a long time and wanted to chat. It was a warm feeling. Like a neighborhood!

So, routines are nice, but a little change now and then can be good for the soul.

It is a New World

I am sitting here at a Mac computer (Jose would be proud of me), sipping my cup of Seattle's Best coffee in a relatively dark corner of the "Grown Ups Lounge" of Wannado City. All around me is the ambient noise of hundreds of children having fun. We are inside of a HUGE complex, sort of like an indoor theme park. The kids are perfectly safe. They are not allowed to leave the premises without the adult that brought them in.

The kids can do and be anything they want. They can be a fireman, a beautician, a judge or a clown! it is fun. It is a wild way to allow kids to explore their imagination, try out different professions and just be silly.

This is also the first time that Rachel has been told that she is too old and is considered an adult. However, some of the kids running each activity don't know that! They let her in to the Coca Cola Bottling Plant! Then they are paid in Wannado currency! They can go and buy stuff later.

It really is a new world. It is a bit like day camp, a bit like baby sitting, but with a whole lot of imagination involved and the parents can go off and zone out in this area where I am sitting now.

I can look down from the "balcony" and see the activity all around. I don't feel isolated. And the kids can come visiit me whenever they want. Or they just use their cell phones to call me!!

It is a fun way to spend the day. And, it is only 15 minutes from my house. I don't know why I never took Adina here before! Oh well, now I know.

Monkey in the Middle

Remember the game Monkey inthe Middle? Well lately that is how my relationship feels with my father.

There is something going on that I am not aware of because there is literally no discussion of feelings by my father. I can only guess that he is angry or upset about something that Joel either did or didn't do. But since that is a territory that is not discussed, I can only guess.

It is sad because it is severely affecting my relationship. But it is also a can of worms that I am not sure I am ready or want to open.

A few weeks ago my dad went to the restaurant with some friends for breakfast. Joel came over to say good morning and how was everyone. My dad completely ignored him like he didn't even exist and made some very nasty comments to his friends about Joel. Now I will give my dad the benefit of the doubt that perhaps he didn't know Joel was standing there and that Joel could hear everything that was being said. But still, Joel's feelings were hurt and since that day has avoided all contact with my dad.

Last week my dad came downtown because he drove Elaine to work. He came to visit me in my office and I introduced him to everyone there. Then we went downstairs and had lunch. When the conversation steered toward Passover and what was he doing? I thought that Elaine and my dad were leaving town for the holidays. But he said that he was here. So I invited him to our house and I could see how uncomfortable he was in trying to answer me. He said that he was busy and that he and Elaine were having dinner with some of their "cronies." When I said that he should be with his family, he changed the subject.

Then last night Roger was in town and asked us to join them for dinner. Joel said that he just couldn't do it. So I went with the girls. They didn't want to go either but I said that they had to. At one point during dinner Rachel was teasing my dad about him buying her a car for her birthday. Well, that just opened up the flood gates.

My dad said, "I bought your mom a car so your dad should buy you a car." I lost it. I said, "No you didn't buy me a car. I never owned a car until I was married and that was the Monte Carlo that you asked me if I wanted on my wedding night and then proceeded to take all of my wedding money from me before we even left for the honeymoon." He disagreed with me and said that he bought me a station wagon. I said I never had a station wagon. And then I tuned out. I saw his lips moving and in my head it was as though my mom said to me, "you aren't going to win anything by arguing so just be quiet."

It was as though I was 15 years old again and I was reduced to getting punished because I was speaking out and expressing my mind.

Maybe that is why I have self confidence issues now and then.

Well, I really feel like I am stuck in the middle. My dad and Joel are on either side of me and that ball is being tossed above my head and I can't reach it.

I don't feel that there is any way to win this one, so I will just let it go because I love my husband and even though my dad makes it really difficult, I do love him too.