Vinnie

When I heard the news, I was sad. Very sad that an era had come to an end.

Vinnie Pellizzi -- a man who enjoyed life immensely -- lost his battle with cancer this week. The funeral is today, in Queens. His family and friends will be there. My father will be there. I will not, but my thoughts are with him today.

When I first met Vinnie and Marie I was about to get married. That was in 1980. To me, at that point in my life, anyone who older than 30 -- was old -- and I didn't really pay much attention to what they did or what they were like as people. Or for that matter, I didn't even think that they too were young once and had hopes and dreams.

But meeting Vinne and Marie changed all of that for me. Vinnie was the first adult that treated me like an adult. He spoke to me on the level, not down to me. Marie, of course is another entire discussion. I love Marie and I could speak volumes about her. But today -- it is all about Vinnie.

Vinnie could instantly make my bad moods melt away. He would put a smile on my face with his incredible sense of humor, his silly jokes and his warm hugs. His stories were always relevant and fascinating. Even if he was telling me about his mother -- who came from as Vinnie put it, "From the Old Country."

We always would have our discussions over food. Whether it was a hearty Italian meal in a fancy, schmancy restaurant in New York or our dining room in Lauderhill, it was fun to watch Vinnie eat. He relished meals. And Joel's cooking . . . he adored Joel's cooking.

Once the girls were born, Vinnie would immediately become a child around my girls. He would sit on the floor and play games with them. Tell them stories. Keep them occupied so that I may eat my dinner before it got cold!

However, when Vinnie wasn't feeling well, he didn't want to be seen or see us. I guess he just didn't want us to worry or perhaps he didn't want to be seen as less than what he was.

So we haven't seen much of Vinnie in the past five years. But when we did, no matter how badly he must have been feeling, he always would dress impecably to take us out to dinner and put on a fabulous smile.

I will miss Vinnie, our discussions, our laughter, his stories. These are the memories that I will always treasure of Vinnie.

Hal and Gloria's Luncheonette

This was a short piece that I wrote for the Far Rockaway High School Web Site. Since I was thinking about my mom, I thought that I would post it here as well.
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This photo was probably taken in the late 1940s or early 1950s. This is Harold Schain (or better known as Hal). He was my father. He and my mom owned the luncheonette on Far Rockaway Boulevard from 1947 to 1957. I am sure that there are many FRHS grads that remember skipping a class here and there and getting a soda or malted in that store!! In August of 1957 my father met his untimely death at age 33 in a two-seater plane crash. His passion was flying. I was born in October of that year. That's when Ellie and Phil purchased the store from my mom.

It is with mixed emotions that I write to you today. Sad because an era has come to an end and happy because I am able to share some photos with you.

In February (2003), my mother, Gloria, passed away. She was a Rockaway resident since 1947 when she and my father, Hal Schain, were married and made that move from Brooklyn to Far Rockaway. They purchased the luncheonette on Far Rockaway Boulevard and 25th Street and it soon became THE hangout of teenagers and the morning stop before the commute to business in the big city.

I know that I had sent a really wonderful photo of my father in the store. But the photos that I found this time are truely priceless.

These photos show the faces of the individuals that patronized Hal and Gloria's luncheonette. It is a freeze frame of a moment in time. Maybe you recognize some of these faces? Maybe visitors to the FRHS website will recognize themselves.

I would love to hear from anyone who does recognize themself and tell me their memories of my parents. As I mentioned in my previous email to you, my father, Hal Schain, had a love for flying and unfortunately lost his life doing what he loved in 1957 two months before I was born.

So just hearing bits of memories from anyone is gratifying and will be added into a family tree for my children so they can know more about their grandparents.

Thank you Skip for all you do for Far Rockaway HS alumni.

Jody Horne-Leshinsky
FRHS
1975

Simple Pleasures

Sometimes we forget that the simple things in life give us the most pleasure. This week was a long week for me. First I was getting out of a real deep funk from last weekend, then I spent most of the week counseling and disciplining some of my employees, then the rest of the time was spent in fixing problems.

After all of that, I came home on my trolley, I got to read my book for a good 25 minutes. Just a few minutes lost in someone else's world. Simple pleasures!

Then I picked up Rachel and headed over to the restaurant. We didn't even order food, Joel just brought out whatever he thought would be best. Simple pleasures!

Rachel and I spent the hour at the counter working on the crossword puzzle and almost finished it. Simple pleasures!

Robert volunteered to drive. Simple pleasures!

Rachel was going to the Homecoming Football Game at Nova High School. Then I had to pick up Adina at her girlfriend's house in Hollywood. Along the way, Robert and I felt like tourists looking at things along the way that we just never noticed before because instead of taking all highway, we took miscellaneous roads that we don't normally drive on. Simple pleasures!

Once we picked up Adina I suggested that we go to Jaxon's. Robert was floored at my suggestion because that would normally be a suggestion from Joel, not me! Once seated we chatted with the waitress and I found out that we shared the month of October with our birthdays and the sign Libra. So she brought out my ice cream with a sparkler as a candle and they rang the siren normally reserved for when someone orders the kitchen sink. Simple pleasures!

On the way back we picked up Rachel and headed bacl to the restaurant to pick up my car. Joel was STILL there cleaning up and rearranging stuff. Being alone in the restaurant, walkng down the long hallway where the restrooms are, I peek up at the photo of my mother in her uniform at the luncheonette in Far Rockaway (circa 1947). She is so young and innocent and not a wrinkle in her skin. Then I remind myself that today is her birthday. She would have been 80. Simple pleasures!

I am sure she is watching over me. Simple pleasures!

Moods

What affects a mood? Sometimes I can wake up in a great mood and it sticks with me all day. Other days, I can wake up in a great mood but an event, a comment or a stray glance can immediately affect my mood -- sometimes to a negative result.

Why am I so sensitive? I have always been this way. Even as a child, I was supersensitive to everyone around me. I see those same characteristics in Adina.

I have to work very hard at overcoming the emotions that come along with the swing in my moods. Sometimes I just give in to them and wallow in the negative emotions. It is these times that I just need to be alone to regenerate, relax and regroup.

We eat to nurish our bodies. We take vitamins to preserve our health. We take medicines to cure and prevent illnesses. So why can't we just take a mental health moment to heal our raw emotions?

When I take time for myself, I try to pamper myself in some way. A hot shower, comfy pajamas, scented candles, a glass of wine and a movie that takes my mind off of whatever it is that triggered my mood swing in the first place.

That is what I did last night. The best result is that I fell asleep at 10 pm and woke up feeling like a new person. I look back now and wonder why I felt the way I did. Where did those strong emotions come from and why did they affect me so deeply? Now it seems trivial.

But today, I can face the day with more energy, do whatever chores need to be done for the week and give my family the attention they need. If it means a mental health day, then I will just have to give in to those moments and heal myself.

Forever?

When we say, I do" I always thought it was forever -- for better and for worse. But the older I get, the more I see marriages fail. I remember that after a holiday party that we threw last year, we talked about how we were the ONLY couple at the party that hadn't been divorced, separated or remarried. It was a rude awakening.

Yesterday I recevied another jolt. I was teasing someone in my office about not wearing his wedding band -- something he does quite often -- and he responded with, "Haven't you heard?"

Well, the last time someone said that to me, the result was a horrible, horrible truth. The hairs on my neck stood up lthat time and told me that something bad had happened. The voice on the phone cracked and then announced that her husband had been in the first plane that entered the World Trades Center.

So you can only imagine what flashed through my mind before my office mate told me his truth. He had separated from his wife.

I really couldn't believe it. They seemed to be a perfect couple, living the suburban life with two cars and three kids. Wow. What a shock that was to me. But he said it is for the best for both of them, and so I told him good luck. My theory is that he is going through a mid-life crisis because he seems awfully happy-go-lucky about the situation. I can't imagine his wife is feeling the same, but one never knows. I believe it is ALWAYS the children who suffer the most.

So, I started to observe others yesterday. Thinking about their situations. Many people in my office are either single with no kids, divorced with no kids, married with no kids, gay but in long-term relationships or kids themselves. Out of 30 employees, there are only two that are married, together and have children, and I am one of the two!

Wow, those statistics are amazing. Are we a slice of society? Or are we the exception because we are in the arts?

Who knows. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that we are always true to ourselves and our feelings. We have to make sure that we are satisfied with our choices because life is WAY too short to make sacrifices that compromise our happiness.

Later in the day I had to attend a workshop at a museum that is located at the Hard Rock Cafe on the grounds of the Seminole Indian Reservation. My office mate and I decided to grab a beer before the workshop. As we sat there at the bar, his eye were wandering from female to female. Then back to me as though he was seeking approval. It was a weird moment, but hell, it is his life. So I told him to go for the classy one. But he just laughed it off and said no, not today.

So is love forever when we state our vows? Perhaps life clouds our true vision. Maybe we weren't truly in love because we were too young to know true love. Or perhaps we will ALWAYS have that love but need to fulfill other needs different than just love.

Whatever the case, I am happy that my forever hasn't worn off.

My Life is a Sit-Com

How can I describe my life? It is basically a sit-com. Like something you might see on television.

The things that happen in my life -- unless you were a part of my life, you just wouldn't believe it. I mean, it is okay, but I definitely have to have a sense of humor, otherwise I would be going batty.

I mean just yesterday there were several events that took place that you couldn't write to make them funny. They just WERE funny.

Like yesterday morning. I am sitting at my desk, talking on the phone and in walks one of my employees. So very proud of himself that he remembered that it was my birthday. There was a beautiful bag of gifts that he placed on my desk and since I was on the phone he decided to come back in a few minutes. While I was finishing the call, I was staring at the yellow mums peaking out of the shiny gift bag. I was trying to concentrate on the call, and the person on the phone was being VERY difficult. But I finally made it through.

So, when I was finished with the phone call, Jose came back. As I said, he was VERY proud of himself and he wanted me to open all the presents. Which I GLADLY obliged! I pulled the beautiful flowers out. Then there was a bottle of wine -- Cabernet Sauvignon to be exact -- very nice Kendall Jackson. That will be savored one evening after work as I settle down on the couch in the living room. Then a candle in a jar with a sweet scent called "Raindrops." He reminded me that there was a card in the bag.

I dug deep into the tissue paper to find the card -- as I opened it, I think my blood pressure went up a few notches (not really). It said, "You're Turning 50!"

I laughed really loudly. Jose, of couse thinks I am enjoying the joke on the card. little did he know that the joke was on him! I finally stopped laughing long enough to tell him that I am NOT 50 yet! I know he was disappointed because of all the cute sayings he wrote inside the card! Things like: You are exactly twice my age; and when you were married I was just born."

Oy vey, they really LOVE to rub in the facts! They don't have a clue how quickly it all goes. I was just their age yesterday.

Anyway, that wasn't all. Later in the day, I was sitting on the trolley heading home. My new-found buddy on the trolley, Gwen who works at Broward Community College, asks me if I know all the other people on the trolley. I said, no but I do recognize their faces. With that, Gwen announces REALLY LOUDLY, "EVERYONE . . . this is Jody and it is her birthday today. Let's say happy birthday and tell her your name!"

I really didn't want her to do that, but it was funny and sweet at the same time. So everyone yelled out, "Happy Birthday," and they all introduced themselves, one at a time. Suddenly I felt like I was in the TV show, "Cheers."

Then, even later in the day, I was sitting on the couch, waiting for Joel to come home. I still wasn't sure where we were headed for dinner to celebrate my birthday. So I just sat there with Rachel, playing guitar. Joel called about three times. Once to say happy birthday, he would be home soon. Once to talk to Rachel (I figured they were conspiring something). And the third time to cryptically tell me that he was trying despirately to ditch our neighbor so that we could have a family dinner outing.

Well, by 7:30 p.m. Rachel and I were still sitting on the couch. I was getting cranky and Joel had tried for three hours to get Robert to leave. Oh, if I didn't mention, Joel was at the restaurant finding "busy" stuff to do to try to buy time and get Robert to catch on that he was busy.

Robert just didn't get it. So, he came along. Now I felt like I was in the sit-com "Seinfeld."

No, we couldn't write these situations. They just happen to us. They make us laugh or they make us crazy.

It is much better to laugh.

Birthdays

Birthdays for me have always been special. I always look forward to October 6 with anticipation. It is the same feeling as Christmas morning (yeah, I know I am Jewish and not supposed to celebrate that one, but too freaking bad, I enjoy celebrations and if I choose to celebrate the Pagan holiday with the gift of giving . . . that is just my prerogative!). Anyway, back to my birthday!

I have always felt the excitement build as the days of the month of September slip away. The days get a little shorter, the rays of the sun are a bit dimmer in the late afternoon as I am on my way home from work and the mornings are darker and even a bit cooler (yes, even in South Florida folks!). And suddenly it is October. It is almost here!

Then the celebrations begin. Privately, in my head, I have been preparing myself by practicing the new number. That new number that will be my age for 365 days. So for 364 days I have been telling myself that as of October 6, 2006 I will be 49 years old. So when October 6th actually arrives, I won't be so shocked at the realization that I really am that old!

But the numbers aren't so important anymore. It is the decades that become significant! When I turned 20, 30 and 40 -- those numbers where critical. Next year -- 50 -- I will celebrate in a special way, not sure how yet, but I am planning to do something spectacular.

As a kid though, the numbers were extremely important. When I turned three-years-old, I remember it very, very well. I work my pink sleeveless dress with a pink satin sash tied at the back and a crinoline undergarment that made the skirt portion of the dress stick way, way out so it was like a ballet tutu! I wore my black patent leather Mary Jane shoes with the rounded toes and my four-leave clover gold charm on a gold chain around my neck. My hair, my signature hair, pulled way back into a very tight pony tail, so tight that it felt like a face lift (sorry Mom, but that is how you used to make my pony tail!!). I was sitting in a high chair at my Mom's step-sister's house (Marcia) in Brooklyn surrounded by my Mom, my Mom's step-mother - Grandma Norma, and some cousins -- Marsha and Dennis, sweet Dennis (how I miss him). The cake -- as always -- was a chocolate blackout cake straight from Ebinger's mmmmmmmmm. The best cake in the world for chocolate lovers. It was three, sometimes four layers of chcolate cake with frosting in between each layer and then all around the entire cake and then the frosting was sprinkled with some of the cake crumbled up. They always placed the plastic "Happy Birthday" thing on the top of the cake with the obligatory number of candles, with one to grow on!

Don't know why this memory is so ingrained in my memory, but it is.

But that is probably why I love celebrating my birthday so much. It is such a happy memory for me. Joyous times. It is a reminder of life and birth and family coming together.

So now, fast forward to 2006. The week of celebrations have begun! I now celebrate for more than just one day. I celebrate with friends. I celebrate at work with co-workers. I celebrate at home with my family. And, why not. It is just something fun to do. It isn't about presents. It is about the memories that are created in the process of celebrating. It is about the foods that we create to devour in honor of the celebration. It is about the photos that are snapped as a reminder of the good times that were had. So happy birthday to me! Thank you for celebrating with me!