Newly widowed, I am using this opportunity to look forward to the next chapter of my life to start all over. This time, I begin with 63 years of experience, a second career in the arts, and no debt.
I have spent the past six months working through the grieving process. Of course, I had plenty of assistance from my family and friends. But the best assistance was through Hospice, they offer support through therapy and group sessions to talk through the grief. I have a long way to go, but I do feel like the fog has lifted and I can see more clearly now.
I also spent the past few months settling my finances, paying off all debts on credit cards, working with my financial advisor to ensure that I can retire comfortably and be able to do whatever I choose, whether it is travel locally or abroad. I don't mean to be extravagant, that has never been in my nature. But I would like to splurge now and then. I do have a few places that I want to see -- Israel is one place, but I also hope to visit our national parks so that I can pursue my photography while traveling. The end result, I hope to exhibit my work again.
I also have gone to every doctor's appointment -- head to toe -- to make sure that my health is okay. I even went to the allergist to find out if I am allergic to the flu shot -- I am NOT! Next, I will find out if I am allergic to penicillin. After that, I will take the shingles shot and eventually the COVID shot, whenever it becomes available to me.
However, the other day, I had a very odd feeling. I felt like, okay, I have done the finances, cleaned the attic and garage, checked on my health, and took a vacation to unplug. Now what?
And, I didn't really have an answer.
I have been thinking about it for several days. Still no definitive answer, but I do believe that I now have a clean slate, a chance for a brand new beginning. A chance to figure out who Jody really is.
I have never lived on my own. I went from living with my parents to moving to Indiana to attend college with Joel and then moving to Florida with Joel and then getting married one year later.
Now, I have to live alone, technically. Adina is still here, but she is applying for jobs and will eventually move out. I am alone most of the week. I still work at home and cook dinner for myself at least five nights a week. I am not comfortable eating at restaurants yet. Not because I am alone, but due to COVID, I am not taking any chances.
Once COVID is under control and I have my vaccination, I will venture out and do more. For now, I only go out to shop for food or to go to work when I have to -- like the Green Market or when we record our virtual programming.
But once ai am able to attend arts programming again, I will feel more normal, more like myself. I miss attending gallery openings and chatting with people, the artists, and arts administrators. I miss live theater. I miss concerts and museums. I am not alone in these feelings.
So as we begin 2021, I have really do have a clean slate. A clean and organized home. I am ready to take that first step forward. But in baby steps.
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