Forever?

When we say, I do" I always thought it was forever -- for better and for worse. But the older I get, the more I see marriages fail. I remember that after a holiday party that we threw last year, we talked about how we were the ONLY couple at the party that hadn't been divorced, separated or remarried. It was a rude awakening.

Yesterday I recevied another jolt. I was teasing someone in my office about not wearing his wedding band -- something he does quite often -- and he responded with, "Haven't you heard?"

Well, the last time someone said that to me, the result was a horrible, horrible truth. The hairs on my neck stood up lthat time and told me that something bad had happened. The voice on the phone cracked and then announced that her husband had been in the first plane that entered the World Trades Center.

So you can only imagine what flashed through my mind before my office mate told me his truth. He had separated from his wife.

I really couldn't believe it. They seemed to be a perfect couple, living the suburban life with two cars and three kids. Wow. What a shock that was to me. But he said it is for the best for both of them, and so I told him good luck. My theory is that he is going through a mid-life crisis because he seems awfully happy-go-lucky about the situation. I can't imagine his wife is feeling the same, but one never knows. I believe it is ALWAYS the children who suffer the most.

So, I started to observe others yesterday. Thinking about their situations. Many people in my office are either single with no kids, divorced with no kids, married with no kids, gay but in long-term relationships or kids themselves. Out of 30 employees, there are only two that are married, together and have children, and I am one of the two!

Wow, those statistics are amazing. Are we a slice of society? Or are we the exception because we are in the arts?

Who knows. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that we are always true to ourselves and our feelings. We have to make sure that we are satisfied with our choices because life is WAY too short to make sacrifices that compromise our happiness.

Later in the day I had to attend a workshop at a museum that is located at the Hard Rock Cafe on the grounds of the Seminole Indian Reservation. My office mate and I decided to grab a beer before the workshop. As we sat there at the bar, his eye were wandering from female to female. Then back to me as though he was seeking approval. It was a weird moment, but hell, it is his life. So I told him to go for the classy one. But he just laughed it off and said no, not today.

So is love forever when we state our vows? Perhaps life clouds our true vision. Maybe we weren't truly in love because we were too young to know true love. Or perhaps we will ALWAYS have that love but need to fulfill other needs different than just love.

Whatever the case, I am happy that my forever hasn't worn off.